Blue

It only hurts when you're heading to the kitchen sink and can't make it with words stuck in your throat and the tight feeling in your stomach won't stop aching and you try and try to make your hands stop shaking but you keel over and cry.

Love didn't happen the second night when you laughed with me and held my face in your hands and told me you were falling for me. Love didn't happen when you shook every fear I ever believed in and held me so close I could die. Love happened when you stared at my reflection on the TV screen with your hand on your chin when you thought I couldn't see you and you reached over and held me closer than you had before for just a moment before you looked at me.

I stare at you through mirrors and windows and car doors and sunglasses, your reflection gathering dust in my mind. I stare at you on all those hard surfaces, knowing that looking directly into those soft eyes will blind me.

familiar fruit tastes sweeter

deep eyes and melting skin stops your
one...two before it gets too loud. how much
of my dream belonged to you, only i
know and by god i'll never share.

when dancing stops and you stare like
you've never seen me before and the bright
yellow magnolias in your eyes flash my way
my heart beats into one million rhythms and
(just like yesterday)
you take my
breath
away.

fear makes me smile at you before you're ready
and you wink back s l o w l y as your head rests down
and your eyes move down
and your smile shuts down
and i know where you're looking
and i'm smiling
and as hard as mirrored fragrance i can
smell that you want me too.

and as they sleep and you kiss me in that
imagined secrecy, i know that they could know.

but love gets the best of me and
fuck them all becomes my motto
you're better than every tomorrow.
you're better than every tomorrow.

Journey

We traveled. That was all it was.
Temporary, and me thinking
the read trip would
last forever but there you
are stopping at pit stops
and grabbing souvenirs
like girls called Rachel
and Amber, and
all the while I'm thinking
about this journey, this
adventure
he wants me
this love.
Love.
And you don't know
what love is. You don't
understand pain and giving
and happiness.
You don't want to be happy
you want to be satisfied.
You want loveless romance.
You want to tell a girl she's
the best thing in the world.
You were my journey,
I was your adventure,
and we both ended
way too soon.