questions buzzing in my ears

Why would you be sweeter to someone than what they deserve? Why would you treat someone like heaven one day and the next day they're nothing but dirt on your shoe? Why did you call me to thank me for a lovely evening and the next day, totally dismiss me? Am I oblivious? Isn't it that you're not meant to be sweet to people you don't care about? I had a dream about you. Would it mean anything if I told it to you? You were with me somewhere and I said, "Wow, I didn't know you were that tall." what does that mean? Why would you come, lie on my bed, blush, stare, enjoy my company, and then just dismiss me? Am I that transparent that you see straight through my imperfections? But I know you think my face is beautiful...
you make me feel like a work of art. Did you know that? What would you say if I told you all of this? Would you be sweet to me, build up my hopes, and then send me crashing hard into the ground again? Ive got this feeling you would do something like that...it's more than just silliness. You're hurting me. Maliciously. You made me feel like I was in heaven. Did you know that? I was in no rush to come back to earth. Why are you so cruel?
Do you do this to many girls, or is it just me?
Do you mean to be malicious or is it an accident?
Why don't you ever hug me? Do you not hug anyone?
Did you mean to do me harm?
How can you be so fickle? Or am I fickle? Do my feelings for you skyrocket when you do something which is even a bit nice? Am I crazy? Did you know that yours was the best chocolate I have even tasted? Do you mean to be so sentimental? Was your offer for me to kiss you real or were you only joking? What would you do if I kissed you? Did you know I was ready to break a promise to God for you? Do you ever think about me when I'm not with you? When I sign on to msn and you go from being available to being away, is that because of me? Do you want to bang your head against the wall when you get an email from me? I think you do.
Do you think that I love you? 'Cause I don't, I'm only infatuated. Do you ever stare into space and think about my eyes? What kind of chicks are you into? Do you hate me at all? Did you feel something when we prayed together? Is that why you called me? Whats all the stuff you've done that you regret? Would you do it to me? How many hearts have you shattered? Are you including mine?
Would you rather see me happy or naked? Why do you find me interesting? When you came over, was it about the CD's? Really? Did you know I hung up on Sam for you? Did you know you blow me away?
Is it obvious that I like you? Do you think I'm crazy? Are you going to ignore me to get me to leave you alone? What am I supposed to do now? How should I act around you? Do you find me interesting or pretty or both? Do you think I'm nice? Do you think you're more translucent than you are? Do you know how pretty your hair is? Do you delete all of my emails? If I ignored you, would you care? Would you fancy me if I lost 100 lbs? Am I uglier than I think? Do I love you? Do I love me?

conclusion

broken glasses on the floor and God only
knows how they got there, dried tears on
my face, and he only knows why they
dried there. angry bruises on my arms
and we both know why they reddened there,
and i wonder what he's wondering but neither
of us tends to speak about past mistakes
because weeping only leads to honesty
and honesty only leads to pain so
yesterday will remain distant and we'll never
bring it up again, and every time i try he'll
tell me its the past and that it won't be so bad
next time and 'damn it, relax, honey' and i'm so
sure that the responsibility was mine, and i'm
so sure that I was the one meant to stop this
but when i think of all he's done for me, i just
sit back and let it go because God knows that
I'm not even almost as strong as the drink in
his glass.

Sky hues

The wind moves the clouds around the sky and my eyes dance with them.
The beauty changes
colours from grey to white to blue to
white again. I feel so stagnant
and small that pain
r
u
s
h
e
s
through my veins.
What does it mean to feel so
small
in this world?
So stationary and
stagnant?
Should I be
glad that
I feel anything at all?

It starts to rain.

The world is beautiful.

Shakespeare

“When my love swears that she is made of truth”

WHEN my love swears that she is made of truth
I do believe her, though I know she lies,
That she might think me some untutor’d youth,
Unlearned in the world’s false subtleties.
Thus vainly thinking that she thinks me young,	5
Although she knows my days are past the best,
Simply I credit her false-speaking tongue:
On both sides thus is simple truth supprest.
But wherefore says she not she is unjust?
And wherefore say not I that I am old?	10
O! love’s best habit is in seeming trust,
And age in love loves not to have years told:
Therefore I lie with her, and she with me,
And in our faults by lies we flatter’d be. -William Shakespeare